Last week I mentioned a free training I wanted to share with you.

Today, I’m going to teach you the 5 Keys to creating real success in your life. The kind that makes you excited to jump out of bed in the morning because you love your life that much.

Through my own personal journey, years of research and study and from working and talking with dozens and dozens of women, I really believe that many women, Black women in particular, aren’t living the blissed out, healthy and abundantly prosperous lives that’s possible because they are missing one or more of the 5 Keys…

I’m willing to bet you that any serious issue you’ve ever had is because there was a lack of clarity, courage, confidence, compassion or community from your life. I know that’s a big claim to make but think about it for a minute.

Still not convinced? Then read on.

I love this quote about clarity that says “clarity is power. The more clear you are about exactly what is is you want, the more your brain knows how to get there.” When you aren’t clear about what you want then, there’s no way for God, the Universe or whatever you call your Higher Power, to give you what you want.

Ever have that “I want XYZ,” but there’s some question, doubt, or uncertainty surrounding it?  So you end up thinking that you’re not sure if you really want it or even should want it, etc. OR you say to yourself, “I have no idea what I want, but I know that I don’t want.”

Any of this sounding familiar?

It’s like going to a restaurant and telling your waiter you’re not sure what you want and expecting a deliciously prepared meal that you love; like sending out a fuzzy radio signal and expecting to get a clear signal back. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. So you end up going through life, sort of hit or miss. Some things work and others don’t.  And if you’re honest with yourself, you don’t really have a sense of what will or won’t work out. You just chalk it up to “that’s just the way it is; it’s for the best, I guess,” or “its God’s will.”

I have a question for you.  What if part of the reasons for the ups and downs, hit or miss or uncertainties are because you’re not clear?

And what if becoming clearer will enable you to emit clearer signals and the Universe or God will be able to give you exactly what you want?

What if clarity IS power?

The next big C I want to share with you is confidence.  Any leadership trainer, coach, business guru or all around successful person will tell you that if you don’t have confidence in your ability to achieve anything, you may as well stay home. Self-confidence is essentially your ability to believe in yourself.

Confidence enables you to take risks–the risk to love again knowing that you can trust your judgement and that you’ll be okay no matter; the risk to take that new position, or move that even though it scares you, you know that you can learn, adapt and win no matter where you are; the risk that you can try the new venture, open your dream business, quit your miserable or average job, or start a new life because you know that new beginnings are always new opportunities to live, shine and rise to the occasion.

None of these will happen if you don’t believe in yourself, or if you believe that some circumstance or condition is bigger and stronger than you are.

Let’s look at some questions that may give you a sense of how confident you feel about yourself.

  1. I welcome challenges and seeming obstacles in my life
  2. If something looks difficult, I don’t avoid trying  it.
  3. I tend to focus more on what I do have than what I don’t have
  4. I can point to past accomplishments relatively easily
  5. I don’t allow obstacles to affect the way I see myself or I how I feel

Answering these types of questions can give you a good sense of whether you need to UP your confidence game, take more risks and make BIGGER things happen in your life.

Compassion is where I think a lot of us go wrong; especially towards ourselves. For many women who suffer from the strong Black women syndrome, we are often hard on ourselves for not being, doing or having what we “should” be doing or having at any given moment. So many women feel guilty about past decisions, present circumstances and are anxious what what lies ahead.

The beating up, the shoulding, and constant mind activity is often as a result of feeling that things “shoudn’t” be what they are in some form or another. So your mind is rarely at ease; at rest or at peace

       →Enter compassion.

Compassion allows you to see life for what it is and to see it with loving, forgiving, emphatic, and accepting eyes.  Compassion can be described as love in action and maybe even in its highest form.

Compassion will allow you to recognize that you as well as everyone else in your life has done the best they can. It frees you from feeling guilty or bad because it helps you see that negative feelings, including stress, and overwhelm, don’t have to play a major role in your life. Those feelings don’t make you a better person. They don’t really add any value to your life. The bottom line is feeling bad compassion.

When you regularly practice showing yourself and others compassion, you’ll begin to give yourself and others a break. And when your less hard on yourself and others, you’ll be happier, less burdened and more at peace.

Who can disagree with the Dalai Lama, when he said that “if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

The poetess, Maya Angelou said it best, “courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.”  

Do i need to say more about that? I don’t think I can add to her wisdom so i’ll just share my thoughts about how confidence and courage differ a little. Confidence, I think, is about believing in yourself and courage is moving forward even when you completely don’t. It’s the quality inside that propels you to act in the face of fear, doubt, or uncertainty.

And the beauty about courage, or any of the qualities, is that it grows with practice.  It’s a muscle that grows with use. The more you use, the more you have. So everytime you take a risk and tell yourself, “I can do it” or “I’m scared, but I’m going to do it anyway,” less and less things scare you or you’ll realize that feeling afraid doesn’t have to mean anything more than that. “I just feel afraid, so what?”

The last C is probably my favorite–Community aka Sisterhood...

Jim Rohn, author and motivational speaker, tells us that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Scrreeeetch-)

Most of us don’t realize how influential our circle is to us and don’t realize that our inner circle can be the very thing that is stopping us from realizing our greater potential.

Your mom was right when she told you not to hang out with the “wrong” crowd.

Want to be successful? Surround yourself with successful people.
Want to be happy? Surround yourself with happy people.
Want to be healthy? Surround yourself with healthy people.
Want to become more confident? Surround yourself with confident people.

In essence, we become like the people we hang out with.

Don’t you just adore this quote from motivational speaker, Robin Sharma?  “Associate only with positive, focused people who you can learn from and who will not drain your valuable energy with uninspiring attitudes. By developing relationships with those committed to constant improvement and the pursuit of the best that life has to offer, you will have plenty of company on your path to the top of whatever mountain you seek to climb.”

Or as Ms. Oprah simply put it, “surround yourself only with people who will take you higher.”

Now, that we have the 5 Keys down; tomorrow I’ll be sharing part two of this free training, where I’ll show you how to have more C’s in your life.

See you then!
Regine, xoxo