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Listening to the lyrics of this beautiful song by the lovely Lalah Hathaway brought tears to my eyes because it reminded me of where I was, who I was and who I am today. Growing up as a dark skinned, “nappy” haired little girl, I was teased and made to feel bad about the color of my skin and the texture of my hair. Those feelings eventually turned into self-hatred and my journey to self-love was long and hard fought. Low self-worth translated into decisions I made, relationships I entertained and circumstances I created. It wasn’t until I truly began to intentionally work on loving myself that I finally got what “when you love yourself you don’t need anyone else to love you” really means.
When you know who you are and love your true SELF, the love of others doesn’t enrich you; nor does the lack of it, disturb you. It only reflects you. In other words, the presence or absence of love in your life is a demonstration of the love you have for yourself. For if the love of others makes us feel good about ourselves, what happens to us when they take their love away?
I am so happy to fully and wholly love myself and have discovered the joy of the process. Mirror work has been part of my process. My mirror work exercises are a series of affirmations that I say to myself while looking in the mirror, and feeling and believing every word that I repeat. Or I repeat it until I believe it.
A recent conversation with a childhood friend who shared a similar hurt-filled childhood reminded me that we all have experienced heartbreaks, disappointments, felt rejected or unworthy. And it will show up as poor health, unhealthy habits, troubled relationships, unstable finances, dissatisfying careers—the list goes on and on.
If you are experiencing unfulfillment, dissatisfaction, unhappiness or any other limitation that is preventing you from knowing and experiencing true joy and freedom, I would love the opportunity to share all of my self-love processes with you at my next transformational retreat. Join me on a blissful, joyous and love filled journey.
We all deserve to restore our wholeness and love ourselves fully and completely; to go from worthlessness to worthiness.